Single digits!

i can't believe it...today officially marks the move to single digit numbers of days until our due date. never thought i'd make it to this point. funny thing is that now that i'm here, i want her to stay in a little longer. why? i'm not so fond of february and rather she have a march birthday. also i'd like to avoid february 29th because i think having a leap year birthday must stink.

yes i'm aware that it's not up to me. and yes i'm aware that waiting will just allow her gigantic head to become more gigantic, which doesn't bode well for me in delivery. a girl can dream though right?

so a little help here...cross your fingers for me and hope that she stays put until march! thanks.

Reality

the reality that i'm going to have a baby is beginning to set in. when i was still working, it was as if the baby reality was far far away...as long as i was working, i'd stay pregnant. ha ha, i'd say that was a bit of denial. now that i'm home and have more time to think (and nap thankfully) it's becoming a reality. another helpful hint are these new pains that are hitting me low low in my belly...braxton hicks? real contractions? who knows? how would i know?

so now i'm just waiting. i'm paranoid about going out because i'm afraid my water will break in a public place. i'm scared for jeff to go too far away, even though i know labor will likely take several hours and he'd be home in time. i'm scared to sit on my nice couch. i'm scared to squeeze this baby out of me.

i've packed my bag. no more denial there.

i need to decide on a few things...am i really going to breastfeed? is she really going to sleep in our room at first? can i really handle having a baby? what pajamas am i going to wear in the hospital? what is the baby's middle name? am i really happy with the first name that we've picked? what's her going home outfit? what's mine? (these last two are just sooooo important in the grand scheme of things)

i wish it was spring...i think i'd feel better about everything. maybe i'll open the windows and pretend.

my other reality? i will miss being pregnant. i will miss having my tiny friend with me at all times. i will miss her little movements. i will miss holding my belly and knowing she is safe. but i will give this all up so i can see her cute face and hug her precious little body.

Last day!

it's finally here...my last day of work before maternity leave! these past couple weeks have been tough for me...mostly because clothing has become uncomfortable and my feet are so swollen that shoes hurt. other than that, i've been feeling pretty good and have been able to keep up. i'm just excited to be home, finish things up here, and get myself ready...not only ready for labor, but ready for this little girl to be part of our lives. so many changes are coming and i can't wait! and of course, i can't wait to meet our daughter. she has such a personality already and i'm looking forward to getting to know her.

btw i'm still at 1cm...holding steady for now.

Moving forward

so i had an appointment with the OB yesterday and i wasn't expecting anything special, except that it was my first internal exam of the whole pregnancy. ew. who wants an internal exam at 36 weeks pregnant??? not me. but they wanted to do it to check my strep status (affects whether or not i get antibiotics during labor) and what my cervix is up to. i guess i was so focused on the fact that i had to get an internal exam that i didn't even think about what she could say to me after doing one.

guess what? things are moving along! my cervix is 50% effaced which means the cervix is thinning out and i'm also 1cm dilated! that means a baby is coming!!!! now don't get too excited, i could be like this for weeks, but still...that means we're moving in to the next phase! see, my post about packing a bag wasn't that far off after all. guess what i was doing last night...packing that bag!

we did some blood work and other chatting too...baby's heartbeat was strong and going at a good rate. my belly also measured perfectly so things are as they should be! very exciting :)

we have an ultrasound this friday to check lil nugget's growth. can't wait to see her again!

the bag

i really need to pack my bag for the hospital. all of the baby emails i've been getting for the past few weeks say that it should be done. it makes me feel guilty every time. people say to me "your bag is packed right?" packing the bag has been on my list of "things to do" for weeks. seems early to do it...i have four weeks left, but who knows when this baby is really coming?

i hate packing. i really do. i procrastinate this task every time i take a trip, no matter how excited i am about the trip itself. i've made some things easier over the years, such as having toiletries ready to go, but the rest of it is still sucky.

i think part of my problem is that i don't want to put some of my clothes into the bag because i wear them almost every day when i get home from work. this would include the black stretchy pants that still fit my waist (barely), pajamas that still fit (barely), and my maternity sweatshirt. i guess i need to bite the bullet and put them in. the other problem is a nightie or something to wear at night...i don't wear them for sleep so what would i pack?

the other issue i'm having is whether or not to breastfeed. if i do, i need to go spend MORE money to get nursing bras and tops. sigh...

i wish someone would just pack this bag for me. that would make me so happy. hey, maybe packing the hospital bag for other moms will be my million dollar idea. no one steal the idea! considering how much i hate to pack though, i'm not sure that idea would ever come to fruition.

maybe tonight will be the night that the bag is packed...

Day 250

can you believe it? two hundred and fifty days of pregnancy. that's how long i've gone without sushi and wine and cold cuts and pretty shoes and my own clothes and normal body functions and normal body image (well some of these i was able to do/have in the very beginning, but not for long). i miss me! only 31 days left and i'm counting down!

by the way, the non-stress test today was excellent. lil nugget had the hiccups for most of the test which was making us giggle, but otherwise she performed well. i guess a bunch of other babies had the hiccups during the test today too, but hers went the longest. she's such an overachiever! we have an ultrasound next friday to check on growth.

we're having maternity pictures taken tomorrow...so exciting. i'm glad that they're being done before any stretch marks appear! the important things in life. we also have an infant cpr class tomorrow so that we can fulfill our "good parents" duty. putting the final touches on the room tonight including glider chair assembly, washing bedding, and hanging decorative things on the walls. yay!

here's a sneak peek of the nursery...

Way Back When-esday

Thanks to my sister for this idea...it struck me two ways because we are in such a time of change right now. It's been 3.5 years since we started down the road toward having a baby. Lots of ups and downs in those years. Also, being 35 weeks pregnant makes me yearn for the "me" I used to know...or more specifically, the body I used to know.

This first picture isn't my cutest look but it was taken the day before I found out that I was pregnant. Lots of hope in my heart that day.

The second picture is the body I want back!