First entry!

So here I am...my first blog entry. It's hard to know where to start...so maybe first some info and history. I just turned 33 and my husband and I are starting the process of trying to have a baby. Odd that I call it a process? Well, for us it is. Let's go back a little...

I've always had some health issues, although most of them were vague and the doctors couldn't figure out what was going on. I thought of myself as the "sick kid," but I'm not sure others saw me that way. I tried to keep up as best as I could, although I eventually had to give up things I loved. For example, in the middle of my basketball season one year, I got something similar to asthma but meds didn't help. I ended up giving up basketball, running, and performing trumpet competitively because I couldn't breathe well enough. I still have difficulty with my breathing and no one can figure it out. I've always had a "sensitive" stomach but they can't figure that one out either.

A few vague symptoms eventually gave way to two conditions - systemic lupus erythematosus and rheumatoid arthritis, or SLE and RA. Symptoms for me include sun-induced rash, joint pain, foot pain, and ridiculous fatigue. These conditions have somewhat dictated my life for the past 10+ years and are now dictating my pregnancy-to-be. I have decided to wean myself off of all of my medications in order to have the safest pregnancy for my baby. Obviously this decision means that I'm going backwards, actually making myself sick again. The other morning, as I'm limping around my house trying to get ready for work, I thought to myself "What was I thinking??? I don't know what got in to me."...hence the name of the blog. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision, but once I'm holding our healthy baby, I'll know it was all for the right reason.

Speaking of "our" baby, there's a piece of the puzzle that I'm leaving out. I have been with my husband for almost ten years now and he has been my strength when I needed it most. He helps me before I ask and does things that I never thought someone would do for me, like get in the shower and wash my hair when I couldn't lift my arms or carry me when my feet hurt too much to walk. I actually didn't think anyone would marry me knowing that I was sick, but he didn't care. He has been very supportive during this process of going off my meds and I wouldn't be able to do it without him.

Last but not least, thanks to my family and friends for their support...now and in the future. I probably won't be able to do the things I've done in the past - meaning less visits, more sleep, less running around - but that doesn't mean I don't love you! We'll see...I'm a tough cookie so you never know what I'll be able to handle!