I'm going to get an ulcer if I keep this up. Coffee and Advil does not constitute a healthy breakfast. Ever since I had Miss C, I have been craving coffee and the cravings start in the middle of the night. I've had maybe five cups of coffee since 2005 and now I'm having two cups a day. I need to go buy some half-caff or decaff cups so that I can stop passing all this on into my breastmilk. It doesn't seem to affect the baby negatively, but it's not good for her.
Speaking of breastmilk...for some reason I've really resented breastfeeding this past week. I think it's because Cassie has been clamping down and wrestling with my nipples, but maybe it's more than that. I feel guilty about the coffee, can't drink wine when I want, and am just afraid of broccoli because of what it might do to her. I've also been stressing over my milk supply (wtf is wrong with my left boob anyway?) and am afraid of not having enough once she starts daycare. I'm also stressing over pumping at work. Daycare and return to work are exactly one month from today (oh shit that reminds me to write another post about returning to work), so I shouldn't be stressing about this yet. Stress will just decrease the milk supply so I need to stop and meditate or something to calm down.
We tried formula yesterday and she drank the whole bottle without hesitation. Traitor! Just kidding, I'm glad she took the bottle because that does relieve me a bit of my breastfeeding duties. And it makes me feel more comfortable in that she will be nourished somehow if I need to restart the methotrexate. Sadly that is looking like more of a possibility if I don't get my pain under control. I saw my rheumatologist one week ago and at the time felt like the pain was manageable, but this week my elbows started hurting. Not so easy to lift/carry/hold a baby with sore elbows. My feet are worse today. My 2 year old cat has arthritis and I was watching him walk this morning and wondered if that's what I look like...judging by my husband's comment to me this morning while watching me walk, I think it is what I look like. Sigh...
A couple of people have asked how the kitties and baby are doing together. Cassie is just starting to notice the cats but doesn't do anything weird...probably because she can't do much yet. The cats do look concerned when she's crying and come to see what's up. They don't do anything mean to her which is great. Duke and Daisy have both sat with me when I'm holding her. They sniff her a little but that's all.
A couple of people have asked how the kitties and baby are doing together. Cassie is just starting to notice the cats but doesn't do anything weird...probably because she can't do much yet. The cats do look concerned when she's crying and come to see what's up. They don't do anything mean to her which is great. Duke and Daisy have both sat with me when I'm holding her. They sniff her a little but that's all.
For any of you wondering, I did make myself an english muffin in between my two cups of coffee today just so I won't get an ulcer ;)
Oh and here are a couple pics that I promised last week...
My left boob was stupid too. I'd pump like an oz on that side and 4-6oz on the other side. Ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteShe is a cutie!