i'm just feeling a little wistful, a little nostalgic, a little old these days. is it because i'm a mom? is it because i'm approaching another birthday? is it because life isn't the same? i mean really, do i want to be 20-something again? maybe. it was so fun then. i had fun just to have fun. my goal when i went out dancing with friends? to have fun! i wanted to dance all night and just smile while i was doing it. nothing to do the next day, so why not stay out late? why not have a few gin and tonics? (i couldn't do a few now...yuck) it was just so nice to be a renter...no big purchases or mortgage payments or responsibilities... i really just enjoyed life.
my brother asked me recently what makes me happy...why did i find it so hard to answer that question? it scared me that i couldn't answer it right away the way he did..."snowboarding, music, the beach, surfing, etc." i have to make my list. maybe that would make me feel more settled...to redefine what makes me happy, what is fun, what i enjoy.
this made me happy...i was hot shit that night...
i should go try on that dress...it might make me happy ;)
I should tell you to have hope. The first year is terribly hard and you're dealing with so many more things than JUST being a new Mom! Hang in there...it gets better and you realize that you're more than what you are right now...you just can't see it now. Love you!!
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