Things could be better

i had four days off this past weekend and had so many plans. i was going to spend time with jeff, plant some bulbs, clean up spring plantings, do some shopping, run errands, go out to dinner, catch up on sleep, etc. i was so looking forward to it even though i just came back from vacation. well...didn't get to do much of that...

starting on thursday afternoon, my right hand and right foot "broke" to the point where i was pretty much non-functional. they were so painful and i couldn't do much of anything. so i sat around thursday night, friday, saturday, and most of sunday. ugh. jeff had to help me do almost everything. this has happened to my right hand three times over the past four weeks...what gives? i'm not going to increase my dose of the methotrexate or the prednisone, which might help these symptoms, because of the toxicity of the medications. i'm just not going there. i'm not sure what to do. what if this had happened on a work day? well, that actually did happen once and somehow i got through the day...my notes were a little spotty though!

cute little story comes along with my suffering though...jeff was helping me shower on saturday and we were facing each other while he washed my face. that's kind of a weird thing to wash someone else's face. anyway, i raised up my hand to demonstrate how to wash my eye makeup off and accidentally hit my right hand against his arm, resulting in me gasping and then crying. i was sobbing while he was finishing washing my face (i think i just had enough of the pain). he turned me around so i could rinse off and i was still sobbing so he just put his arms around me and gave me the sweetest hug. i just love him.

i'm feeling pretty down lately and support from friends and family is so helpful. i feel very far away from everyone right now. i really appreciate comments on the blog...and italian donuts from friends (you know who you are!). i know some people have had problems with the comments section. to post a comment, click on the comments link below the post, write your comment in the box, copy the funny word, then click the circle next to anonymous or name and fill in your name (unless you have a gmail account)...then submit. any support will help me keep fighting the fight until i'm better.