and this is how the rash originally started...little cherry red pin prick spots. isn't it weird how it spread out like it did?
anyway, these past few weeks have presented more challenges for me that i hadn't anticipated. i had never had any of these symptoms before in the course of the diseases, so they really scared me. it makes you realize how much the medications are actually doing and how much pain and disability they are preventing. the disease has progressed under the mask of the medications, which is frightening. and am i inviting more disease progression in as i'm off of the medications? ugh, who knows.
my supervising doctor told me last week that he thinks i look better than i have in a few months. what an idiot...says that right in the middle of my biggest flare. um duh. i told him that he gets me during the best hours of my day...that when i get home i crash and in the mornings i can't walk, so it's good that i'm there when i am. i do want to increase my hours, both for money and for him to know that i'm serious about getting back to full-time. i just keep hitting snags with the meds and all and i told him that. and if he's this clueless about how i'm doing, he can wait.
just a note to my family and friends who have been so supportive...it means a lot that you're keeping me in your thoughts. the cards, calls, videos, and dinners put smiles on my face and help me keep going through all this :)
Don't push yourself on the work thing...it will work out. There is this story about all of these balls in the air and they are all glass except for work...that's rubber b/c it will always be there and you'll always be able to bounce back. I'll find it.
ReplyDeleteThe rash looks A LOT better! It almost looks like that PUPPS stuff I got while I was prego...I'm glad it's working so fast!
This is what I was talking about:
ReplyDeleteIt helps to think of our responsibilities as glass balls and rubber balls. Family and work responsibilities are like glass balls while many of our other responsibilities are more like rubber balls. A juggler would never want to drop a glass ball because it would surely break. But he would know that it’s not a disaster to drop a rubber ball. Rubber balls won’t break, and he can put one back into rotation after he’s had time to get everything moving again. For example, making after-school snacks for your children’s friends or doing the dishes are rubber balls. They can be dropped for a day or two as you juggle your glass balls. As deadlines for an important work project approaches – glass balls — you might pass some of the balls on to the next juggler instead of holding onto all of them yourself. Perhaps some emails – rubber balls — could wait a little longer than usual before you respond to them.